As you learn more, it becomes easier to say "I don't know."

And this will make you free.

Yesterday, we were waiting for a train at Victoria Station, London. I checked the train schedule, but the information board was not showing the platform from which our train would leave. A few minutes left to our train, I approached one of the staff and asked from which platform our train would leave. She said confidently, “You are waiting in the wrong area; your train will leave from platforms 15-19.” We ran to platforms 15-19 as there were a few minutes left to our train, but I couldn’t see our train in platforms 15-19. Then, I asked another staff member, and she said, “You are on the wrong platform; the Orpington train (our train) never leaves from platforms 15-19.”

At that time, it was obvious that we missed our train and of course I was upset. But, I had only one question in my mind: Why would the first staff that I asked our train’s platform direct us to the wrong platforms very confidently? Why wouldn’t she just say “I don’t know,” or just check her device first and then direct us to the right platform?

We went back to the area in the station where we were initially waiting, and she was still there. I approached her and said “You said that the Orpington train would leave from platforms 15-19, but the staff there said Orpington trains never leave from platforms 15-19. Why wouldn’t you just say I don’t know?” She was shocked and couldn’t say anything. Then, I repeated, “It is okay not to know it; you could have just said I don’t know instead of directing us to the wrong platforms with a surprising level of confidence.” Then, we left.

When I thought about this event on our way home, I realized that I assumed that everyone had enough confidence to say, “I don’t know,” which is very closely related to accepting that one cannot know everything as well as having the courage to ask questions and suggestions. But when have I become so confident in accepting that it is okay not to know something and ask questions?

When I started my PhD, I wasn’t confident enough to accept that I didn’t know something and ask questions. During academic talks, I observed that some professors could easily say when they didn’t understand something and ask clarification questions. These observations helped me accept that one cannot know or understand everything; it is okay to say I don’t know, and I think being able to ask questions shows wisdom. So, I decided to mimic these professors.

After a few years of hard work, today I can easily say I don’t know and ask questions in academic talks or our meetings with co-authors. More broadly, I am open to asking questions or advice because there is always someone who is an expert on the topic I struggle with.

Are you someone who can easily say I don’t know? How have you become someone like this? Please share your story; it can help others.

Cheers,

Sidika