Quality of life = Quality of problems

When I was younger, I dreamed of “that day” when all my problems would be solved and I would figure everything out. Surprise, surprise, it turns out that “that day” does not exist.

If there is no life without problems, how are we going to know whether our lives will improve or the quality of our lives will increase? I have two questions that I ask myself regularly.

1. Does the quality of my problems increase over time?

2. Do I deal with the same problems again and again?

Does the quality of my problems increase over time?

If not, the quality of my life does not increase, which means I don't improve. Let me give you some examples.

In my early 20s, what were my biggest problems? Where to live, what to eat, whether I had enough money for that month, or how I could earn more. Most of them were related to basic needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

In my late 20s, once I had enough money to solve my problems related to basic needs, my biggest problems became having a healthy relationship and improving my career, which are related to psychological needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Now, I am in my early 30s, and I can say that most of my major problems are related to self-fulfillment needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

Does my research create any impact?

Does my teaching help students in some way?

Do I learn something new every day?

How can I create a broader impact in the world?

Do I challenge my body physically enough?

How can I spend more quality time with loved ones?

…

This does not mean that I don’t have any problems related to basic and psychological needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs; of course, I do. But the quality of my problems related to those needs is also much higher. For example, about money, instead of worrying about earning money to survive, I aim to earn money for financial freedom. Or, instead of worrying about maintaining my relationships with all my friends, I aim for a few high-quality friendships.

Do I deal with the same problems again and again?

The next question that I ask myself is: “Do I deal with the same problems again and again?” This question is important not only while gauging the quality of your life but also the quality of your relationships.

Of course, some problems may require more effort and time to solve, but if a specific problem related to a person or a situation becomes a pattern in my life, I stop and ask: Do I want this person in my life? Why am I in this situation? How can I change it?

Remember, repeatedly dealing with the same problems is also the biggest obstacle to having higher-quality problems over time.

While finishing, I want to strongly encourage you to listen to the podcast below by Mark Manson, which motivated me to write this newsletter.

If you have come so far in reading this newsletter, please don’t leave without asking these two questions to yourself:

Cheers,

Sidika